I had a good life.
I was in a road accident in which my very close friend died. I struggled afterward with survivor’s guilt and I turned to drink to cope. My life just fell apart over the next six years. Slowly my friends started to disappear, and I can understand now why that happened! I got to the stage where I realised I had nobody left to lean on as my behaviour had driven them all away. I was an alcoholic and it had destroyed all that was good in my life. I had over six months addicted to heroin during this time, and I was battling with ongoing mental health issues too.
Somehow I made a decision that things had to change.
I’ve been clean now for three years but the road back from this dark place is a tough one. I simply had to learn to live and survive on my own. Making new friends is a challenge at the best of times but doing it while you’re getting clean is a big ask.
I came to CAP during my recovery. I found a place where I was accepted and made to feel secure. I could talk if I wanted, and I did! – but if I didn’t feel like opening up, I didn’t get any pressure to do so.
I’d abandoned God during my addiction, and it was only when I was getting clean again that I was able to experience my relationship with him again in its full power. This dark road had taken me to a place where I simply couldn’t feel emotion of any kind......
I have simply LOVED coming back to CAP this time as a volunteer and having the chance to just talk to people who are in similar situations. I think they can see something in me and they talk and open up, and this really helps. There is a real family atmosphere, and it feels very encouraging for everyone involved.
It feels great that I can give back some of what I took from life.